To hell in a Hadron Collider?

… Yeah right, when hell freezes over.

My favourite hobby of late is making fun of the litigious dolts who think the Earth is going to be gobbled up into a black hole (see video demo below) as soon as the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) at Cern starts smashing protons into each other in the hope of finding a little Higgs Boson.

A lot has gone into finding the elusive God Particle*, trying to prove once and for all that all the nothing in the universe is actually made of something.

The LHC is large. Awkwardly large. 27km large. So large it didn’t fit in Switzerland, which is why it straddles the Swiss-French border.


Like an iceberg, it has a relatively small above-ground presence: a beautiful science-like beacon:

LHC above ground

Below ground, it’s just awesomely huge:

LHC inside

(This is a photographic depiction of one man (centre)
in the process of being dwarfed by something unfathomably big.)

It has taken 14 years and $8 billion to build, not including the legal fees caused by black-hole-phobia.

And by September 10 it will be officially cool enough (1.8 kelvin, just above absolute zero) to start doing its thing.

So on Wednesday week, the human race discovers what it’s made of before…

a) continuing to slowly but surely destroy the planet: business as usual


b) spontaneously ceasing to exist (see video demo below), in which case the whole malarky will have been a very large waste of money, but nobody will be around to care much anyway.

(I think it will be quicker than this)

* It is a well-known fact that Peter Higgs, after whom the Higgs Boson was named, is a rampant atheist, and therefore somewhat embarrassed by the whole ‘God Particle’ moniker.

(all images via BigPicture ©CERN)

First published at tumblr Proof (v.)

One thought on “To hell in a Hadron Collider?”

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