Through The Looking Glass: Where Coffee = Sleep October 10, 2009
Posted by Olivia McDowell in Blogging, Etcetera, Laughing, Words.Tags: Alice in Wonderland, Caffeine, Coffee, Douglas Adams, Macchiato, Sleep, Starbucks
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Comparing coffee preferences to sleeping habits is probably the most ironic analogy ever made. But outside the asylum, through the looking glass, only the nonsensical truly makes sense. And so, I propose the following theory:
If coffee = sleep, then…
A) A macchiato (a shot of espresso with a mere dash of foam) is the coffee equivalent of “a short but intense nap between 12:30am and 6:30am, as popularised by yogis, yoginis, truck drivers and insomniacs”.
B) A Starbucks Venti Mocha Frappuccino (20 ounces of cream, caffeine & chocolate) is the “persistent vegetative state” of the coffee world.
Somewhere in between lies CATATONIA, which is what happens when you have an incurable weakness for both A) and B) (as regards both the coffee and the sleep).
“Patients with catatonia may experience an extreme loss of motor skills or even constant hyperactive motor activity. Catatonic patients will sometimes hold rigid poses for hours and will ignore any external stimuli. Patients with catatonic excitement can die of exhaustion if not treated. Patients may also show stereotyped, repetitive movements.
They may show specific types of movement such as waxy flexibility, in which they maintain positions after being placed in them by someone else, or gegenhalten (lit. “counterhold”), in which they resist movement in proportion to the force applied by the examiner. They may repeat meaningless phrases or speak only to repeat what the examiner says….
Catatonic excitement is a state of constant purposeless agitation and excitation. Individuals in this state are extremely hyperactive, although the activity seems to lack purpose.
…The only way to cure it is to keep the patient constantly active and the activities must have an end goal or they will not work. Stress must be reduced by not pressurising, keeping life predictable and by limiting choice as making choices is very stressful for catatonics.”
— Wikipedia (of course)
And on that note, I REALLY have to get back to writing this thesis. 13 days and counting…
{images via smh.com.au and wikimedia commons }
Venn Redux September 14, 2009
Posted by Olivia McDowell in Art, Blogging, Design, Etcetera, FFFFOUND!, Laughing, Pantone, Pretty!, Technobabble, The Ether.Tags: FFFFOUND!, Pantone, Design, Art, Behance, Venn diagram, Cool, Nerd, Narwhal, Unicorn, Whale shark, CMYK, Cake
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Okay, remember when the internet started leaking a steady supply of hilariously reworked periodic tables and I developed a tiny obsession (then revisited it) despite a distinct lack of real scientific knowledge?
Well, it’s happened again, this time with Venn diagrams. Usually, I try to avoid anything remotely mathematical (unless of course it’s Craig Damrauer’s New Math).
But there are Venn diagrams, and then there are Venn diagrams. These are the latter:

{ Douglas Adams loved giant, spotty, placid whale sharks, and so do I. via Behance }

{ I love both unicorns and narwhals, and this is genius. My original favourite, by ArgyleWhale via horkulated }

{ I’m also a fan of colour standards, so CMYcake is my new favourite, via FFFFOUND! }
There’s also something rather nice about memes that are gradually exuded throughout the ether like this. As opposed to those high GI memes that burn twice as bright but half as long, before hitting maximum saturation and maximum irritation at almost precisely the same moment (see also: Rickrolling, Squirrel Crashes, and — as much as I hate to say it — Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat).
PS. For a permanent source of often puerile, seldom unfunny, and not at all mathematical diagrams and graphs, you might like to bookmark GraphJam:

…but only if you can afford to fritter away vast swathes of time on a regular basis)
PPS. This one is conclusively prescient:

{ Enough said! via BuzzFeed }
“Refridgerators”, “pidgeons”, “burried”, and The French Band. July 17, 2009
Posted by Olivia McDowell in Art, Cinema, Design, Earworms, Laughing, Pretty!, Spellcheck, The Ether, Videorama.Tags: typos, Music, Art, Playground Love, Air, Refridgerator, Craigslist, Open Salon, Pidgeon, Mike Mills, The French Band, The Virgin Suicides
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Firstly…
Read (v.)>> Good luck selling that “refridgerator”
A brilliant (and very astute) rant from Verbal Remedy (“The She-Lord Of Perpetual Nattering”) on her Open Salon blog Verbs and Spices (once upon a snark) about the relationship between spelling and selling.*
Reminds me of something I once posted about back in the day: Good luck finding that “pidgeon”.
And also, of something I haven’t posted about, but keep meaning to:
I can forgive a typo like this. I kind of like the idea of one Mike Mills being too “burried” in romantic sentiment to spell it correctly… And yes, it’s mainly because, as I just discovered, HE DID THE COVER ARTWORK FOR ALL THOSE INCREDIBLE ‘AIR’ ALBUMS!
My gosh, how I adored (and still do adore) this album and its cover art:
In fact, I wholeheartedly believe we should all listen to it now, and “burry” ourselves in romantic sentiment. So very Virgin Suicides.
* Brilliant name, by the by.
Breaking News: I Like Stationery! June 30, 2009
Posted by Olivia McDowell in Art, Design, Laughing, Pretty!, Typography.Tags: Get The Hint, Post-its, Stationery, Sticky notes, UrbanOutfitters
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I adore the colour scheme here.
And the simple, blocky font.
And the post-it factor.

Get The Hint Stickies by UrbanOutfitters, via noquedanblogs.
Good News: Is always welcomed.
Bad News: Can usually be ignored, if you so choose.
You’ll Love This: aka. Thinking Of You + Great Minds Think Alike.
You’ll Hate This: Ditto.
You Won’t Believe This: Would be a GREAT one to stick at the ‘amount due’ end of a credit card/phone/internet bill.
(Imperative directive and Not-so-passive-aggressive options also available.)
Everything Will Be [Techn(olog)ically] Okay June 28, 2009
Posted by Olivia McDowell in Blogging, Etcetera, Ire, Laughing, Technobabble, The Ether, Words.Tags: Blogging, Dell, Everything Will Be Okay, Hitchhiker's Guide, Marvin, Tech Support, technology, XPS m1330
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I have been a very bad blogger. But with good reason, of course. Here begins the story of a Miraculous Laptop Resurrection.
On the first day, at the first sign of computer malfunction, I made one emergency backup.

{ via hannahbeth }
On the second day, I witnessed increasingly psychedelic bouts of computer death. RIP Graphics Card (and therefore, motherboard, into which said graphic card was unfortunately integrated).

{ via Gizmodo }
On the third day, I put Marvin away and started what would become several weeks of Using Someone Else’s Laptop (Mother, Work, Friends…).

{ by breadandbuttershop on etsy }
On the fourth day I began procrastinating about repairs. 1 expired warranty + 3 University end-of-semester essays (+ subsequent holidays) = 3 weeks of procrastination. Anticipated interminably long phone queues, futile complaints, ending inevitably in a very expensive motherboard replacement. Not to mention the idea of a Restore-From-Backup, which never quite returns things to normal.

{ via fromkeetra }
… [Insert here: Several weeks of frustration. Using a netbook (I advise against them, unless your preferred work speed is "glacial") loaded with Internet Explorer (not recommended, unless you love a good crash... every 5 minutes). Enduring the mundanity of Open Office, and "This is a public computer: please don't remember my password" on the work computers. Missing my pedantic email filing system in Thunderbird, and all my delicious, delicious cookies (NO, not that kind, THIS kind). ]

{ via Lolita }
The Call to Dell was made on the Thursday, at 4pm. By 4.05pm (including 1 minute of synthesised glockenspiel muzak) I was saying thankyou to the phone operator who had just promised FREE delivery and installation of a FREE replacement motherboard (which will be covered by a 1-year warranty, FREE), hopefully next-day, but by Monday at the latest. Almost. Fell. Off. My. Chair. In. Shock! (I like to think that it was because I mentioned my awareness of the Dell forums showing more than 150 people with the same problem, many out of warranty,who were still able to claim a free replacement.)
And so, on the Friday, Marvin* rose again. Dell Man appeared at my office at midday, as arranged, and with power drill in hand, disassembled my poor machine into a pile of bits and pieces. And lo, by 12.25pm the lappy resurrection was complete! Free of charge, and less than 24 hours after I finally made the rescue call? A miracle! It’s like nothing ever happened. Marvin even set about launching my last-running instance of Firefox and downloading new emails from the server.

{ via FFFFOUND! }
Anyway, if this saga has taught me anything, it’s that Everything Will Be [Techn(olog)ically] Okay. Also, that I have a lot of haphazardly-gathered but accidentally-themed-alike bookmarks stored away on my harddrive…

{ via myguerilla }

{ via cardboardlove }

{ via FFFFOUND! }

{ via FFFFOUND! }

{ via FFFFOUND! }

{ via FFFFOUND! }
* Named after Marvin The Paranoid Android in Douglas Adams’s Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy: a computer with a brain the size of a planet, but very poor interpersonal skills.
Serifically punny May 30, 2009
Posted by Olivia McDowell in Blogging, Design, FFFFOUND!, Laughing, The Ether, Typography.Tags: FFFFOUND!, Punilicious, Puns, Serifs, Typography
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{ By Toga22 on Loiter, via FFFFOUND! }
I hear this was a real chart-topper for Bold Marlett and the Webdings…
(The pun is in the de-tail.)
I have a secret to share with you… May 12, 2009
Posted by Olivia McDowell in Blogging, Design, Laughing, The Ether, Typography.Tags: Comic Sans, Posters, Reblogging, Typography
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HAHAHA…
…haha…
…ha…
…NOT!
{ by Love & Liquor, via i can read, via don’t touch my moleskine }
PS. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have even joked about that.
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Hitler freaks out over Comic Sans MS April 19, 2009
Posted by Olivia McDowell in Cinema, Laughing, The Ether, Typography, Videorama.Tags: Black Books, Brilliantology, Comic Sans, Hitler, Monty Python, Typography, youtube
1 comment so far
“THIS IS RIDICULOUS! Comic Sans MS does not make me look friendly or cool! It doesn’t look professional at all! Churchill must be making jokes already! What will you do next? Republish Mein Kampf in Comic Sans MS? You are the worst marketing team I’ve ever worked with!
There is tons [sic] of great fonts to work with and you chose the worst!… You even used it to subtitle this f***ing YouTube video! What will our enemies think? That will [sic] invade them riding Teddy Bears?”
{ by DesignerDaily, via Brilliantology (which is a brilliant blog, and which I think you need to RSS as soon as possible, if not sooner) }
PS. Yes, I am aware that this could be deemed mildly offensive. But then, the most humourous things often are. So just remember how much you laughed at Monty PythonThe Life of Brian, FTW) and Black Books (especially The Grapes of Wrath, where Bernard and Manny kill THE POPE with inferior wine)… and chillax.
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Love thine Word Nerd April 18, 2009
Posted by Olivia McDowell in Grammar Attack, Laughing, Punctuation, Spellcheck, The Ether, The News, Words.Tags: grammar, Grammar Nazi, Linguiphile, Media editors, Richard Glover, Word Nerd
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Richard Glover’s column, Revenge of the Word Nerds, in today’s Sydney Morning Herald (Spectrum section):
The language police have no interest in the content of what is being said; they don’t even have much interest in language itself, in all its slippery, transgressive glory. They just lie in wait, like cats before a mouse hole, waiting for an error to occur.
Then they pounce. And there is much delight in the pouncing…
Full article at smh.com.au (because nobody actually buys the hulking Saturday paper nowadays).
Thank Gaia I know that Mr. Glover’s ire is all in good humour (he’s a very good-humoured sort of bloke). Of course everyone knows that Grammar Nazis never mean to offend, much less condescend. Sports fans will correct you for saying “points” instead of “goals”(or vice versa). Fashionistas love to commentate when people-watching. A tea lover will happily waffle on forever about Buddha’s Tears (if you let them). And likewise, we linguiphiles just can’t help ourselves when faced with something within our very trivial sphere of interest.
SO PLEASE REMEMBER TO KINDLY INDULGE YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD WORD NERD: She’s not pouncing, she’s just enjoying the small pleasures in a pedantic life.
(And besides, without a keen editor, every newspaper, magazine, book, journal, and other miscellaneous printed reading matter would have met that great pulp-mill in the sky long ago, condemned to death by the dire lack of media’s two most essential requirements: credibility and readability.)
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